S6 E6: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

It’s the first episode of 2022. I'm so glad you’re here!  I’ve been wanting to add in some reviews and testimonials for a while now and just haven’t done it so 2022 is the year.

Seriously, I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to the podcast and leaving a rating and review. Because those things help the podcast show up when people are searching for a podcast to listen to. Besides word of mouth and you sharing an episode with a friend, that's how people find The She Is Podcast  by searching a topic they are interested in. and I just found out you can now leave a review on Spotify!

So you can be one of the first over there. And if you find a particular episode encouraging or think of a friend that it might speak to. I would love it if you would share it with them. You are the reason others are listening and super appreciate your sharing!

So today I’m going to share a review from Jennie M.

She shared: “Thank you Susan for sharing truth! This has been so encouraging for me to listen to. Your episode on fear and what we are allowing into our thoughts resonated so deeply with me. I’m excited to have this spiritual encouragement at my fingertips!” 

Thank you for taking the time to share Jennie and I would love to pray a prayer of blessing over you. Father, I thank you Jennie and I pray that as we are starting this new year she would sense your love and direction in her life. I pray that fear would be cast down in her mind and be replaced with the power and truth of all that you are in her life. In your name we pray, amen

I was originally hesitant to go with what I wanted to share in this episode because I know that this time of year everyone is sharing their opinion on resolutions and goals for moving into the new year and a big part of me hates adding to the noise.

But then I realized that me not doing this episode is exactly the reason I want to talk about how I’m moving into a new year.

 At the start of this new year I’m not feeling any pressure to set any new or lofty goals. Instead these past few weeks I’ve found myself walking into 2022 slowly, purposefully + prayerfully.

In the slowness of the weeks following Christmas I’ve been reflecting about the stories we live and the stories we believe to be true.

Because the stories we believe to be true ARE the stories we live!

So me staying quiet in order to not add to the noise is me playing into a story that I tell myself that keeps me from sharing when an equally BIG part of me wants to share what often feels like “fire shut up in my bones”...

That’s an example of what I want to dive into today…

Us stopping and recognizing that a particular action is tied to a storyline we are believing and is causing us to live out our lives in a particular way.  

So it would seem pretty important then to make sure the thoughts and stories we are telling ourselves are based on truth!

I’ve talked in previous episodes about how easy it is to live our lives on auto pilot. How we get so used to reacting certain ways and doing certain things that we don’t even have to try or think about it.

Some of those things go back to our childhood and the ways we learned to navigate the world. So after days and months of years of behaving a certain way the neural pathways in our brain have carved out.  

The good news is we can literally rewire our brain. It takes diligence and commitment on our part but we can do what scripture teaches us and literally renew our mind to truth!

That is where diligence comes in because you have to recognize where you are living a lie and apply the truth and continue to apply it until you have created new neural pathways and new ways of thinking and responding.

God created us so magnificently and we have the power to take thoughts captive and bring them under the authority of truth,

And that truth will change our lives!

So where my heart and mind has been in reflection of moving out of a year and into a new one is around asking myself some questions about the stories I believe to be true.

And I’m inviting you to join me in asking the questions…

And the question I am asking myself as I take inventory of my days is

What is the story I am telling myself in this area of my life?

And is it true?

Because this is what I am living into…

And I think it’s important to say that asking these questions is intentional work on our part but more importantly the work of Holy Spirit in our lives.

Y'all, We don’t have to feel any pressure to figure everything out or feel like we are behind in some kind of race or missing out on something?! And trust me I’ve felt all of those things and guess who else did Eve. It’s one of the oldest lies in history that the enemy loves to distract and torture us with. 

You are good, friend. And you aren’t going to miss anything God has for you if you keep showing up and surrendering to his love + goodness in your life.

I might still have my moments of wanting answers to questions but I’ve gotten a lot quicker in setting my heart + mind on seeing the layers of the faithfulness of God in my story. 

 I can trust him with the desires of my heart when I stop looking for the answers I want in a particular moment or season and trust that his view is perfect and he’s setting you + me up for the long game…eternity.

That's another question you might need to be asking…

Am I so focused on present circumstances that I am missing how faithfully God has shown up in my story that maybe at the time I didn't even recognize it was his hand working in my life?

Where do I need to loosen my grip of control and surrender to the life + freedom God has already provided for me?

Most of the tension and stress in our life comes from us resisting the truth we know deep down inside to be true.

I’m not sure who said this statement and I don’t remember exactly how I heard it but it was something like…  “ finding your purpose is not so much  about discovering who we are but discarding and taking off all the things we aren’t!

Some of the stories we are living are not that they’re necessarily bad, they're just not our story.

Most of you have probably heard the story about the woman who every time she made a ham cut off the ends of it before she cooked it. When she was asked by her husband why she did that, she answered, I’m actually not sure….I just always saw my mother do it. So she asked her mom why they always cut the ends off the ham to which her mother responded, that she always did it because her mother had always cut the ends. 

When they finally asked the grandmother she laughed and said she had done that so the ham would fit in the baking dish.

Funny story and also very relatable.  

We all are part of continuing certain activities or ways of being because it's what we always saw or participated in.

And this isn’t to say the way we’ve been doing something is wrong but like i mentioned before …

But maybe like the ham story it’s unnecessary or Maybe it’s just wrong for you.

I remember years ago when I was sending the first 2 of my 5 to school and everything in me (and in them) didn’t love it.  This was years ago and homeschooling was definitely what it is today and I didn’t even know much about it. All I knew was I had the gut feeling that I didn’t want to send my kids off for hours everyday to spend with someone else implementing their ideas of education and life. 

AND PLEASE HEAR ME ON THIS!!! I know there are some of you that love the traditional school system and your kids thrive in this environment. We can have different desires and stories and still love and support each other.  Sadly I feel like we are living in a culture that wants to keep everyone divided over differing opinions. 

My point is it was very hard to change the school story for our family.  And not just in the area of traditional classroom setting vs homeschool but even within the homeschool community. There are differing opinions on how to homeschool and it was a journey to figure out and actually go with what worked for us as a family.

I had to navigate opinions from those who didn’t like our choice and questions from those that didn’t understand it. It caused me at times to question my role as a mother and fear would rise up and I’d be tempted to go the route that was expected and “more normal” Only to discover that it wasn’t “easier or more normal” for us. haha Was our school journey perfect, absolutely not but neither is the traditional route perfect so I had to let go of that expectation.

Bottom line is I didn’t love navigating the tension that the schooling choice brought to our life, but it was a necessary tension to change and create our school story. 

And again this isn't’ a pitch for homeschooling, but it very much is an invitation to inviting + listening to Holy Spirit nudging us towards something.

Homeschooling was a tool connected to the plans + purposes that God had for my crew, not necessarily yours. 

Ok so That is an example of a story being wrong for you personally…

What about if it’s actually wrong, period.?

First of all after you work through all of the stuff that actually recognizing and acknowledging that something was wrong brings up you have a choice…

Are you going to have the courage and commitment to change it?

It is so interesting that even when circumstances or ways of living can be so painful it’s proven it’s oftentimes easier to stay that path then take the path of change.

That goes back to those pathways and ways of thinking that are carved out in our brain over time…as painful or uncomfortable as they feel they are what we know and in some way are comfortable to us by their familiarity.

But we weren’t created to live with being comfortable. We were created for freedom. And that has more to do with renewing our mind and living in truth than it has to do with our circumstances.

Here are a few questions that might be helpful in determining if you are allowing a lie or the wrong story line in a particular area…

Does it feel heavy? Do you feel condemnation? (not conviction that is different, but condemnation) Do you feel alone or feel you are living under a burden of shame?

Those things I just mentioned are a storyline that you have been redeemed from friend!  The story of God is all about being adopted into His family so you are never alone.  It’s a story filled with love and hope and grace and redemption!

May I remind you today that you are not in this thing called life alone! The enemy wants you to feel like you are but that is one of the biggest lies you must take captive.

And that lie needs to be  replaced with the truth we find in Hebrews that tells us that God will never leave or forsake us.

That was always one of my favorite verses growing up and when I was alone or felt scared I would remind myself that God would never leave me alone so I was good.

And it is comforting to see the words of Paul in Philippians 1:6 where he says “ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..” holds true. 

God is so faithful to you and I.

He is the originator of your story, beautiful one.

He delights in you and longs for you to surrender to the story he has written for you…

And it’s exceedingly abundantly above anything you ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20)

Let’s pray…

Father, thank you for the new year before us.

Help us to have eyes that see what you are doing over news reports or the opinion of others.

You are our God and we choose to place our hope and our trust in you. 

You are the one who holds our days in your hand.

Let hope spring up in our story this year.  Even when circumstances might be shouting something different we will look for your goodness and grace that is always working in us.

We are grateful and we are hopeful for what is to come…

In Jesus name.

(amen) So be it!