Hi everyone!  This episode is a continuation of some things i shared in the previous episode so if you haven’t had a chance to listen to that you might want to hit pause and listen to that one first.

It’s seems like yesterday and forever again ago all at the same time but today actually marks 1 month of my mother breathing her last breath on this earth.

I hesitated even putting out the previous episode as once the tears started coming they weren’t easy to stop. But then I felt like to not put it out there went against some of what I was sharing.

So I’m back today to expand on some of the things I mentioned in Part .

The first thing I want to touch on again is making the decision to be fully present in our lives. 

I know that statement can sound weird at times like I’m here, living my life so yeah i’m pretty sure I’m present!

But I’ve found there is way more to being present in life than being physically present somewhere.

I mentioned in the last episode how when we got the news that my Mother could pass at any time and it was a week later when she did. I had this nudging in my soul ?) to take it all in. Meaning be present with the reality of my mothers passing. Also meaning don’t go to Target and buy another cute coffee mug or tee shirt or other things you don’t need AND don’t bake chocolate chip cookies and eat the whole batch.

Be present...think the thoughts, remember and reflect and feel the feelings.

I made the conscious choice that instead of turning my attention to something else when I felt sad or upset to allow myself to take in the thought and think about it. And it’s been so good for my soul. yes , there have been highs and lows this past month but I feel so much stronger in my spirit…

I wanted to talk about this again because you might not be grieving someone you loved passing away, but you might be grieving the loss of a job or a dream... the loss of a relationship or the feeling of lost time>>>

Whatever the loss is for you...I invite you sit with it and lean in and learn all that you can from this time and let the presence of God through the process transform you.

Most of us will do anything to not feel pain...whether that be physical pain or emotional pain. I joked about some examples of how I’ve tried to silence pain in my own life. But here’s the thing…the thrill of a shopping spree loses the thrill quickly and the comfort food we’ve consumed provides comfort for about as long it takes to consume it….

And as much as i’ve seen in my own experiences the resistance to the pain usually prolongs and intensifies the process.

I’ve seen this time and time in my own life yet my natural instinct can be to fight the process. 

That reminds me...after the service for my Mom we all went back to my the house with my Dad and ate mexican (again haha) and laughed together as we remember so many stories of growing up together and special memories with Mom.

So speaking of pain haha one of the stories that got brought up was my father attempting to give me a spanking and yelling into the other room to my Mother that he hadn’t even spanked me yet...he felt the need to reassure that he wasn’t beating to me to death since the crying and screaming and running I was doing would make someone thing it was pretty bad.

Just another example of prolonging a painful process. Haha

But everything within me said RUN!!! Hahaha

But here’s the thing ...YOU CAN”T OUTRUN PAIN!

And if you are under the illusion you can you will spend your entire life running.

You can’t outrun it and you can rush it!

Stress often times comes from trying to be somewhere you’re not.

Peace comes from choosing to be present in the moment.

And then allowing that peace to guide you throught the process ...to the next step and then the next step and the next step.

*Proverbs 4

Wisdom and understanding...so so important 

Don’t let your pain be wasted.

Your pain has a purpose and if you will trust and allow the holy spirit to lead you and teach you through whatever painful process you are walking through it will affect your life in profound ways.

The second thing I want to expand on is your life matters. 

The decisions you make matter 

How you choose to show up in your life matters.

Your life was not designed to look exactly like anyone elses. Your life’s story is part of a much bigger story and when you show up and live the live you were created to live your story affects others stories.

You change the world around you by trusting in the plans and purposes God has for you.

Let’s choose to live our lives fully depending on Holy Spirit to lead us and bring us comfort and teach us through our pain and the loss we experience.

Don’t believe the lie the enemy of your soul loves to whisper in your mind when you feel weak and tired and worn down . He wants you to believe you’ve made too many bad choices...that your life doens’t matter...that you are unlovable.

And to that I say LIES!!

You are a beloved daughter of the King of all kings. 

You are adored by the creator of the universe.

You are here in this moment of time because HE planned and purposed.

What are you going to do with your pain friend?

Are you going to let it hold you back or are you going to let it set you free???

Let’s pray!