Last weekend was Mother’s day and I had shared something on social about my mom, capacity, women, strength and comparison and it got me thinking about more about those things that I thought we could talk about today...

This was the first Mothers Day without my Mom. The actual day honestly wasn’t any different than any day has been for me since her passing. I’ve learned waves of grief show up when they want to and that 

learning to live life without the person that gave me life is a new way that will take some time...and that’s ok.

I shared in the post that my Mother had such a large capacity in how she lived her life. And even though I’m her daughter and many aspects of my life mirrors hers...I learned pretty quick that my capacity was quite different from hers.

I want to talk capacity and comparison today because I think these 2 things have the potential to really hold us back from living the life we were designed for.

So what does capacity mean?

A dictionary def says

an individual's mental or physical ability faculty or potential for treating, experiencing, or appreciating

Just hearing the definition makes me feel a little less than haha

I’m joking but I’m not… lol

Here’s the thing ya’ll... If we are not secure in who God made us to be we will constantly struggle. So I said i was half joking haha because when I can hear that definition said that way and feel like I’m lacking mentally or physically.

But this is why IT IS SOOO important to know your identity in Christ. And what it’s the foundation of what I share and teach about. When you know this truth it becomes the filter that everything else must go through.

Because if I’m not secure and sure that God fearfully and wonderful made me then i am going to spend my life comparing myself to others that I think are made more wonderfully made than me haha

So when I think of capacity I think of all that a person is able to be involved in their life and it be productive and life giving to them and those around them. 

Capacity would be how much ability a person has to hold space in their life for people and things...

Here’s the tricky thing to me concerning capacity…

We have society’s definition and cultural expectations so where does that allow room for us all not being exactly alike.

I can look back and see examples all throughout my life starting from a little girl starting school where there were already signs of my capacity boundaries being challenged and yet because there weren’t many if any different path options around school and learning talked about at that time I was expected to keep in step with what was the norm culturally. 

It wasn’t a learning disability but more of a situational anxiety issue for example depending on my teacher and the environment in the classroom I could go from being a top student to suffering academically.

And to be clear...i believe we are wired for growth so in no way am i saying we should never feel stretched or challenged or be confined or held prisoner by a comfort zone.

 i have seen in my own life where I’ve been stretched and my capacity expanded…

That’s why i say it’s tricky and only you can determine what  is you feeling uncomfortable because you’re being stretched or you feeling stressed because you are taking on something you aren’t designed to. These feelings of being stretched or stressed can “feel” similar...stretching is uncomfortable and there are growing pains we experience as we stretch and grow so there is pain that serves a purpose.

But there is a pain we often endure because well honestly most of the time we do it because everyone else in the race seems to be enduring and continuing to run. And this is the main point I want to convey to you today concerning capacity. 

 when you put yourself in a race you were never called to run and stay there this is what makes you feel like you’re not strong. Because it’s sucking the life out of you which makes you feel weak.

We love to quote the I can do all things through Christ scripture but he’s not going to empower you to do something he’s not asking you to do.

But we think oh I’m a believer so anything I do in life God is going to give me the strength to do it. And it doesn’t work that way.

There is a race you’ve been called to run.

One that your creator planned and purposed from the start...

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

The last part of that def for capacity was… the ability to experience or appreciate

And I think that’s a key point because you might have the mental and physical ability to checking lots of things off a list but are you able to fully experience and appreciate you life?

Unfortunately culture has elevated the word hustle and it’s used as a badge of honor. And when I think of how Jesus lived hustle in not a word that comes to mind. Haha

Yet talk about someone living life to the full…

He brought the kingdom of God whenever and wherever he was...in his everyday ordinary life.

So what are some areas in your life that you might physically be present but your capacity might be stretched so thin that you are unable to truly experience and appreciate the people and circumstances right in front of you.

So what keeps us in these situations… whether it be a relationship or a circumstance...

I think one of the biggest reasons is Comfort and nor wanting to go against the flow-  we don’t want to disrupt what’s our norm and what we’ve become used to because that would feel uncomfortable! 

There’s something inside each of us that want to be accepted and part of a community and there’s nothing wrong with that.

We weren’t designed to be alone, and being part of a family and community is so life giving for each of us.

But community doesn’t mean uniformity.

The bible talks about how we are all gifted differently for a reason and the power of community is when we all show up in our differences. Each of us living out the function and purpose we were designed for.

I need you to be who God designed you to be and you need me.

That’s something I’ve gotten better in but really struggled with in the past. In the desire to love and accept someone I would hold back or give more of certain parts of me that I felt made them feel more comfortable with themselves and with me.

Which when you think about is really cheating the both of us…

I’m not showing up authentically and the parts of us that could be seen as different or cause some tension are probably exactly what we both need in our lives.

We need to be more concerned with the opinion God has about us than the people around us.

 Because at the end of the day if you’re not at peace with God and yourself no amount of acceptance from people will mean anything.

Ending question:

And again...you’re the only one that can answer these things we aren’t all called to the same things...as well as we are all different and The same things don’t bring life and joy to all of us.

So what are some areas in your life that you might physically be present, but your capacity might be stretched so thin that you are unable to truly experience and appreciate the people and circumstances right in front of you?

Prayer: Father, thank you for your love and  faithfulness in each of our lives.

I pray today for each and every listener that you would help us to clearly see the race you are calling each of us to run.

I pray that we would allow the holy spirit to infuse and empower us to live the life you designed us for.

Help us to keep our eyes and hearts focused on you. 

We love you and we are looking to you…

always!