S7 E17: Stirring of Spring

Before we jump into today’s episode I wanted to share a message I received from someone that has started the She is Awakening Spring Journal. This one is especially special to me because it comes from a student. A beautiful young lady in High School. For those of you that don’t know my husband and I served in youth ministry for years before planting a church and for many years in that church I organized and help lead the student age. This age as well as young adults has always and still does have a front-row seat in our hearts. So when I received this message all the effort of putting this journal together and out into the world surpassed being worth it.

“Mrs, Susan, I just wanted to say thank you for coming out with this journal. It came at the perfect time and I can really feel God and his presence more I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart because I have felt very distant from him more than ever and it has already made so much of an impact.”

Uggh makes my heart smile. This was and continues to be my prayer with these seasonal journals that they would be a transformational tool in lives as it helps guide people in getting still to know and communicate with the God that made them.

If you haven’t grabbed yours yet you can find an amazon link in the show notes to get one.

I also want to mention to those of you that already have yours it would mean so much if you could go to Amazon and leave a rating and a review. 

It is so helpful when people are searching for something and want to make sure of what they are going to be receiving!

THANK YOU!!

I mentioned in an episode either at the end of 22 or the start of 2023 that more than ever I was feeling challenged and convicted to share more of the things I talk with God about and write about and talk with those closest to me. And I think I’ve always been pretty vulnerable when I share but there are deeper layers that as I shared now feel like I’m being disobedient to keep to myself.  And honestly, it’s been a process but this last decade for sure I’ve found more freedom in my identity in Christ and honestly, I’m just not interested in showing up as anything other than who he designed and created me to be.

And some of those ways of being is a deep thinker and feeler. And for many years I felt burdened by those facts. Always feeling too intense and too much. And to be honest I felt too much for myself haha

I can see now that the struggle and feeling burdened by these things were because I was trying to control the expression of those things instead of surrendering all my ideas of what that should look like and trusting the God  who knit me together.

So instead of those parts of me feeling like a burden or a weakness they feel like a superpower.

I talk a lot about how a lot of our pain and struggle come from resistance. Resisting a different outcome than what we desire, resistance to a different way of experiencing or doing something other than the way we are familiar and comfortable with. So many opportunities to experience resistance in our lives. 

And I’ll just speak for myself but living from a place of resistance affects all those around you. I think it would be the opposite of living from a place of peace.

And you and I were designed to live from a place of peace and love. And that doesn’t mean things in your world are all loving and peaceful. It means the core essence of who we are …the spirit within our bodies that is eternal and as believers are made alive in Christ.  That spirit has the ability to supernaturally rise above fear or lack. Depression or any circumstance you might find yourself in. Scripture tells us that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead LIVES in you!

So are you resisting that power?  I think our first instinct as a believer is to say absolutely not. That’s the kind of truth that makes us want to raise a hand and give an amen.

But raising a hand and shouting amen and even getting goosebumps isn’t a sign of surrendering to the spirit of God. 

I’m not talking about salvation here …Jesus called people to follow him. So I’m talking about walking out this life of faith out of every season.

I love this passage from Galatians 5 found in the Message

“But what happens when we live God’s way?”...

These past few weeks have had me welcoming Spring…

I’ve been reminded these past few weeks while spending time in the She Is Awakening Journal of why this practice has always been so meaningful to me.

I often say God longs to speak to us so are we creating the space and intentionally listening for his voice?

And what’s interesting to me is it doesn’t always happen in the moments we’ve gotten still and are reading and writing and praying and listening…it’s as if oftentimes those moments are posturing our hearts and our lives to be awake to see and hear God in our lives.

I can see that with me these past couple of weeks. Several times I have heard that still small voice when praying and journaling and just as many times I’ve heard it while driving down the road and in my everyday activities.  

It’s like it’s a continuation of the conversation that was started earlier. It reminds me of the scripture that talks about “praying without ceasing” 

Which can sound impossible to do when we hear that but it’s really not.

Prayer is a lifestyle. Yes, there are times we set aside to spend undistracted and uninterrupted time in prayer.

But prayer is you and I communicating, which includes speaking and listening with our Creator, which can happen any time and anywhere. Which is pretty amazing when you think about it.

One of the reasons this is so important is that we are bombarded with information constantly and if all we are doing is taking in all of the information and opinions we are hearing and seeing around us then we are most definitely going to be affected.

But when we are intentional about bringing our lives and our thoughts to God at specific times as well as being mindful of his presence all throughout our days. We are allowing the holy spirit to guide us into all truth over our favorite news person or influencer.

These people can be wonderful people…I have my favorites too. But they are human just like you and I so they are going to miss it at times.

Even in my sharing here I try to always remind you I’m sharing from my personal experiences and my goal is to always point you back to hearing from God for yourself. 

I’ve mentioned before how I always feel a little hesitant in talking about specifics when sharing about journaling and connecting with God because I’m sharing out of how he made me and he is going to connect with you in ways that fill you up and strengthen you.

But I do share them not as a rule for you to follow but hopefully to encourage and speak to the desire within you to connect with God.

I mentioned being reminded of why this practice has become such an important part of my life.

And honestly, it always blows me away and feels so supernatural when I can see God speaking so clearly to my spirit.

As I mentioned I was moving through the first weeks of the Spring Journal and as I was spending time being still one morning I was writing and as I do a lot the writing can be a mix of prayers and thoughts. I’m not writing it for anyone to read so I try not to be overly concerned with how it’s coming out or if it’s grammatically correct or pretty to look at.

And as I was writing I was expressing on the pages what I was feeling with me the past week….just like the stirrings of new life rumbling underneath the hard winter soil…dying to press through 

I was feeling these rumblings within me …this creative energy that felt like it wanted to be released. Because of this, I’ve tried to take moments to put my hands to something. Not with the intention of creating something for someone but simply to play and the act of creating.

And it’s been life-giving. As the past few months have been filled with more computer and post-production work with publishing the journal and getting it out into the world.

So as I continued to write expressing the pull of creating I then wrote a sentence asking God to show me or confirm his pleasure in what I’m putting my hand to…(not those exact words…but you get the point) 

And immediately as I finished that thought I started writing I’m sorry God you have already done that haha. I felt even as I was writing out that request to God that it was coming from really a place of doubt and unbelief and a fallback on old thinking. 

Because I’m constantly renewing my mind to the truth I knew as I wrote it I wasn’t being truthful in what I was asking of him.  And continued to process that out …

About why our natural tendency as humans is too long for validation. When as I often say our waking up and breathing today is validation that we are here for a reason. 

And you might be saying I’m confused Susan“that sounds like a good thing to be asking God to confirm what you are putting your hand to in this season?”

And to that, I would say yes and no ha ha. It is a good thing to ask but he’s already confirmed that to me over and over so the request wasn’t coming from the truth I already know but from insecurity in my flesh … kinda like when you are in a relationship with someone and you asked “do you really love me”  because you’re just wanting to be reassured of what they have told you.

And I thought about how hurt I would feel if my husband or kids asked me that question.

My mind actually immediately went to Eve and I wrote her name in all caps on my page.

I could see the similarities of my struggle with hers that day when she stood in that garden that God had provided for her, having access to everything she needed to thrive YET something within her humanity caused her to doubt that fact and reach for something else.

God is growing me to stand on the truth of who he is in my life. 

He is my identity that everything else flows.

This definitely felt like some weeds being pulled from the soil in my heart.

And for that I”m grateful.

You are so loved, friend. 

The creator of the world sees you and cares enough to help you spring clean in this season.

My prayer for all of us today is that we will continue to create the space to allow him to do just that.

Love you guys!