S8 E23: Even When...

I don’t know why it might hit me funny sometimes when I reach to use a journal that I created… it’s interesting.

Reaching for the empty pages to pray and process is nothing new for me nor reading words to focus my mind and strengthen my spirit. Maybe it’s knowing that some of you are reaching for these same pages too.

I’ve noticed these feelings come up when I’m reaching for it not out of daily practice or rhythm, but out of longing and need. 

Again I don’t know why that should be odd when they say you create and teach what you need.

It happened again this week…as I found myself over the hump of non-stop days of focused prep and work that needed to be done one of those things was preparing for our family Thanksgiving gathering.  

You know those times when several things run together and you just put your head down and keep moving through things knowing you will come to the end and you will be able to take a deep exhale breath.

So the final day before the deep exhale was a pretty big thing. Something that had been planned for a while and something I had done the work to prepare and at the end of the day, I realized there had been a tech issue and nothing had been saved.

I could feel my brain refusing to take in the reality as I tried to distract myself. When I would start to take it in I literally felt like I was going to throw up. 

The rest of the evening my mind was bombarded with thoughts of why and how did this happen. I knew it was pointless to dwell on it and being frustrated about it wasn’t going to change anything.

I knew I was just tired but I definitely was fighting feeling sorry for myself after working and preparing to feel like it was all for nothing.

When I woke up the next morning I went outside to watch the sun coming up and when I walked back into the house I knew I needed to focus my heart and head and found myself reaching for my autumn journal.

I opened up to the weekly focus which I remembered was Peace, and had the thought, that it was just what I needed.

I re-read the words I had written many months before and allowed them to pour over my frustrated heart and emotions. I think I actually re-read the page several times just wanting to sit in scripture Philippians 4: from the message saying “don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. 

Seemed like a good time to shape some worries into prayers…

As I picked up my pen I started writing the word peace and then the words even when

Peace, even when things don’t go as planned, 

Peace, even when I am disappointed

Peace, even when I make mistakes

Peace, even when I don’t understand

In no time I had filled the page with these declarations while simultaneously peace was filling my heart and mind.

Nothing about my circumstances had changed…but I had.

I had allowed into my spirit peace that passes over and supersedes my human understanding.

Peace that had settled my emotions to be able to move forward with determining the next course of action I needed to take in finishing the project.

I felt like I wanted to share this because I think it’s something we all face… quite frequently.

And I’m pretty sure I know the thoughts like me that you are fighting in these times because for one the enemy of our souls isn’t real original in how he messes with us.  The battlefield is our mind.  And the war is replacing the lies that are flooding our minds like “this always happens, nothing ever works out for you, why do you keep trying?” what’s the point anyway?!” LIES lies that WE must take captive and replace with truth.

No one is going to do this for you. You are the one who has to rise up and take authority over what you are going to allow in your thoughts and what you are going to choose to believe.

As frustrating as a tech problem is I realize it’s not the end of the world and many of you listening are feeling anxious and your disappointment is far greater than having to reschedule and redo a project.

Here’s what I want to remind you…

Peace is here for you

Ready for you to receive

But you have to choose to lay down what you’re carrying and receive it

And you might have to lay down and choose to receive every hour to remain in peace.

Do it.

Whatever it takes

Do not allow the enemy to steal the peace that is yours.

I hope that helped someone …

You are so loved, friend.

Peace to you

And we’ll talk soon!